The last time I sat to write a post, it was blizzarding outside. Today is predicted to reach temps of 100 degrees, and the sun is filtering through the trees into my studio. I’m writing in part because I recently received a kind note from a reader wondering what had come of me during the past three months, and in part because I’ve been storing up thoughts for awhile now, waiting for the time and motivation to write a proper post. Today is the day.
So, the biggest news first, I suppose. As of yesterday, I’m 17 weeks pregnant. Baby is due in December. My pregnancy has been a piece of cake, and I have no complaints. No morning sickness, no heartburn, no real discomfort (yet). I was super tired early on, but my second trimester arrived and so did the return of my energy. We are truly excited and happy, though it all feels a bit surreal still! I haven’t done much (anything) to prepare, but that will come. Lately, life has just been busy, and I’m happy that baby is safe and sound, growing away inside me.
In other news, I’ve really turned my focus to my strategy / planning work for my church. I still have a few design projects, but once they are wrapped up, I likely will only book freelance jobs here and there. I feel certain and sure that the Lord wants me working in the church for now. It is a strange feeling of certainty, because, while I feel very at peace with it, it is also entirely outside my comfort zone. I say all the time that I don’t know what I’m doing working at a church, doing ministry. But in our weakness, he is strong. And I think that’s the point. The Father knows what we need. He knows my areas of strength, and he is using my gifts, but in a way that causes me to rely on him moment by moment, in a very profound way. Never in my life have I been so uncertain of my future, but so at peace. I have no idea where the road ahead leads. No idea what my life will look like in a year, or even six months. But isn’t that the fun of adventure? Not knowing what’s around the bend? Learning to wait, and trust, and pray and be patient while the Lord works has been the theme of the past several months of my life. I want everything NOW. I want to know what’s coming, when it’s coming, why it’s coming…and I don’t want to wait for anything. But I’m learning that the Lord is never late. He is not ever even slow. His timing is perfect. And being patient in trial – whether it’s a huge, life-altering trial, or the small, mundane trials of daily life – this is where faith is built and worked out.
All of these things… the pregnancy, the work I’ve been doing and what the Lord has been teaching me… they’ve given me a strong desire to live in the present. Not fearing tomorrow, or worrying about the effects of yesterday. Life is in the here and now. Learning to live in the moment, to fully take in and immerse myself in the taste and sound and texture of the moment that is right in front of me has been a discipline. But I’ve found myself so much more connected to those I love. So much less anxious over things. I’ve been away from the blog, because, frankly, I don’t feel like I have much to say. The things I think about and want to share, I’d rather share with a good friend over coffee. Not that I don’t love writing, or sharing with you, my readers… it’s just… the real people in our lives, how often do they get neglected in favor of social media? Too often, I think.
So, for now, my friends, I am going to be away for awhile. I may still write occasionally, but I’m not sure. Thank you all for your readership over the years. It’s meant the world, and I’ve made some very good friends through this blog. Until next time…
-B
